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July 19th
Last night was our 1 year anniversary party, boy did we have a blast with our friends from the band Switch. Of course Nick is feeling it a little this morning. He had to ask where a Bank of America is and as most of you know it is right accros the street from us, just look at our direction page. Everyone had fun with Switch "Fluxcapacitour" going back to the eighties, which is almost like every other night here. I don't think Switch or Gainesville will ever be the same again. If you were not here you miss the party of the summer, just ask us we will confirm that. I hope everyone will come back out tonight and party it up since TJ will be out of town, you know the cat's away the mice will play. So no one to pour shots of Cabo down your thoat tonight, sorry guys, but that does mean we won't be on the bar ha ha. See everyone tonight as we continue the party and watch the UFC Fight tonight on Spike ChannelJuly 9th
Well we reopenned at noon on Monday to a couple of bumps in the road, what do you expect after doing what we did in two weeks and items arriving a little later then they should. But overall it was good, The draft had a little problem, two coolant lines were not hooked up but that was fixed Tuesday morning and sinks leaked, thats what I get for cutting a couple of corners since I didn't have the items I needed to seal it correctly. but things are moving along the crowd and the excitment was good Monday night as we celebrated another new member to the Mothers family with her 21st Birthday, I want to say it was Angie but I could be wrong since Todd was yelling it from the bar(I guess I have to get that Mic thing set up, Sorry guys you have to hear him clearer, or as clear as you can understand him sometimes) Well I'm relaxing in O-town just got out the pool after washing the bike(got caught in a down pour on the way home Tuesday, that was fun, NOT). So enjoy the week and hope to see some of those happy faces now that we can sell you Liquor again.
Reopening Day July 7th
Sorry for the delays we went to the Rays game on Saturday and I took a day of rest in the pool at home on Sunday I'm typing this before heading up to complete some of the little things we had left. We are ready to be open, but will continue some minor things over the next few weeks getting ready for the the big party on July 18th & 19th. So hope to see some of your smiling faces today/tonight and will update pictures tomorrow when I bring the camera back since I am not bringing my computer on the bike ride north.Day Twelve July 3, 2008
Well busy day Finishing the the Trim and cleaning the place. The computers are up and running, the liquor is back behind the bar. The reason for so few pictures is there isn't much to show that is new. So get ready Monday is approaching fast and hope the draft system will be up and running. Early day tomorrow to get the cooling system for the draft up and running.
Day Eleven July 2, 2008
Well Day Eleven starts out early with good new on the Family Front, Things will remain the same, but in the first time in Mother's History we will have two Domestic light beers on Tap with the big two going after each other in the form of Bud Light and Miller Lite. I look forward to work with everyone to make the Gainesville area a successful area for beer so to that in no particular order is the new beers on tap list:
Miller High Life
Miller Lite
Bud Light
Guinness
Blue Moon
Stella
Hoegarreden
Yuegling
Killians Red
Harp
Sam Adams
Bass
I look forward to everyone trying these beers and don’t think we won’t have a drink the rail shirt coming soon. Well back to the work of the day the new sink is hooked up and running water with drainage. I started building the column but I preplanned the veneer and made two of the piece to short, opps! Built the new top at the way through and that was the day since I spent most of my time at Lowes getting plumbing supplies, damn sink, but I did make it out to Archer to get the new server terminal for the bar area, how exciting is that for the servers two areas to put in orders. The boys worked on the kicthen and you can see the new design. Well off to the Beer Wagon got to see how long it takes to fall off.
Day Ten July 1, 2008
As we enter a new month Mother's enters a new era, We are working on trying to get some upstate New York beer on tap I think you know what I'm talking about. So as I type away I and getting Todd to watch his first ever Hell's Kitchen can you say Todd and Chef Ramsey separated at birth? I have him watching that instead of the Rays, nice job huh? So on the Bar we are getting into to pieces you won’t see big changes so here it goes, I worked on A/V hook up and started to hide the trunk lines, can't finish that until the lines are hooked up tomorrow. The bathrooms are Grouted and Dylan and Robert put up shelves in the Kitchen. My list consist of Plumbing to sink and ice bins finish hiding the trunk lines, add storage areas under the bar, replace the sink in the men's room and wire a TV that needs rewiring. So the end is near and soon we can talk about everyone being back at the bar and the one year blow out July 18 & 19th. So sleep well good buddies. Day Nine June 30, 2008
Well as we close out the month of June, Thank God, and Jesus had nothing to do with Kathy's Emmy, so suck it up buttercup. We look forward to the month of July with the re-opening and the 1 year aniversary of us opening this Joint, Yes Jack you can come back and watch your beloved Mets and drink plenty PBR's in just 6 days. Well today the new soda lines where run with two guns behind the bar and one new one for the servers at the right of your bar if you are viewing it as a customer, which no one is right now, Todd where did all the business go? We also as you can see in the pictures added a fountain station in the kitchen. The tables where placed in the restaurant are since the new ones for the bar area will arrive tomorrow. Dan Katz or as most of you know as Dr. Katz stocked the beer coolers and the tile was layed down in the girl's, sorry Women's bathroom today, grouting to happen tomorrow, didn't I say that yesterday, never mind let move on. The video games as back inside can you say golf game Rocko aka Todd to take on Tiger aka Pat. The disco ball now has lights so Todd will not have to use my Mag light to light it up from now on, hey its a classy joint now, did I tell you we have hardwood floors, a dream of a few of us, but we did it. on the pictures is the new "Wall shirt" yes everyone can shot of a new shirt with the new slogan for this year, we will sell the remaining shirts until they are gone. Well off to kick Todd's ass in a game of golf, talk to all of you wonderful fans tomorrow, did I tell you we have the best fans in all of what ever sport we are in at this time, I guess that would be baseball right now, well until football season. Day Eight June 29, 2008
I can't believe a week ago I was just starting this project. The place looks so much different in just one week I don't think anyone will recognize the place, It looks like a real bar now. Granted you have to picture without all the Saw dust and junk on the floor. The Bathrooms are being tiled and hopefully will be completed for Grout tomorrow. Today you can't really see what I did since I did things most people will not see, such as Trim and Polyurethane the bar area, yes I did it this time not Todd so it won't peel off like the other stuff was at the end of its life span. I hope everyone is excited about seeing the place I can tell you we will be playing the pictures on one of the TVs for a couple of weeks to show when we first took over this place to now and the construction of it let me tell you it is a far cry from what it was. I'm just glad one of my biggest peeves are gone now the Floors and the Women’s bathroom is so much better now with the new paint color and soon to be tiled floor. Well it is 5:40 now if more of the floors are done before leaving I will update the pictures again. This concludes Romper Room for today remember I am looking at you through my special glasses.
Day Seven June 28, 2008
Progress was slow but productive finish most of the back bar pieces Trim has been stained and awaiting the staining of the back bar piece which depending on dust may start tonight. The dust is from Jeff and Jeff who are placing the tile in the bathrooms and are also painting the girl's bathroom. the tile should be down tonight and grouting in the morning. Not much excitement on the Family Feud today but it is a weekend. The big news is our baseball jerseys came into today a Brewer one for me and a Ray's one for Todd other than that not nothing new. So kids don't forget to eat your veggies.Day Six June 27th, 2008
Friday has hit us and we Appolonia 6 today being the "Sex Shooters" we are. I write this Blog as the Sox are beating the Cubbies, GO Sox, the Brewers need to get closer. Sorry off the point, busy day for Todd and myself as we worked to complete the Back bar pieces they are close but at 5:30 I ran out of material and with the story I will share later it became beer thirty and time to write this. The pictures will speak to what we got done today. I plan to finish the bar pieces tomorrow and start staining and finishing on Sunday.
Sleep Well on it and remember I'm Chevy Chase and you’re not Day Five June 26th, 2008
OK back to work today after a night of Drinking in Orlando, Todd just drank in Gainesville. I arrived about 11:00 I guessing everyone else was there at 10:59 just to beat me in. All kidding aside they where hard at work when I got here all the hardwood floors where down and they were working on the trim. The floors look great and I know the servers will be happy when we tell them they will only have to mop the bathrooms from now on, but there will be dry mopping and windex spraying on the floors so you don't get completely out of it. I started in on the back bar pieces and the new three tear bottle area is completed by the service bar and the top of the area for the main bar area is coming into it's own, It's growning up so fast, pretty soon I will have to send it to college, of wait I am there already, can you say little Gator Bar? We finally got Jack's Dad Today we caught him after a night of drinking in Milwaukee, and stole him off the wall of the bar we were at, He was mouthing off and the police took him away, he was released to us as his legal guardians, you can see his mug shot on the picture page. Tomorrow looks like I should be able to finish the back bar pieces minus the doors so Staining is coming soon keep Todd away from the poly. Until tomorrow little buckaros, Drink wisely or don't drink at all.
Day Four June 25th, 2008
This will be a short update since I have to leave to go to date night in Orlando. We received the coolers right at 9:00am this morning so construction on the back bar piece has started with the AV area as you can see with the pictures. Todd, Robert and Dylan ran the trunk lines for the draft units and the hardwood floors are down in the Restaurant area with the Bar area getting closer. Have fun with the Draft lines boys got to go.Day Three June 24, 2008
Today may not look like it was productive, but it was a creative day since we were waiting for our new coolers to arrive, which didn't show up because there was not enough room on the truck. This seems to be a theme with our shipping on this project. I designed the shelves for the liquor and figured out the correct heights and await the cooler delivery tomorrow, I hope. The floor guys have all the sub flooring down and starting to lay the hardwood floors. The front room where the video games were is now level, so Dan you can't complain about you balls always going to the right any more. Tomorrow should be a good day with the hardwood floors starting to show and the start of the back bar pieces going in. Thank god for Robert he has hooked us up on the electrical side, the bar will have electricity and each TV receiver will now have its own plug how nice. Well go enjoy a beer because we are now and we have a big surprise for the 1 year anniversary party on the 19th of July, so stay tune to this bat Channel.
Day Two June 23, 2008
Well today it looked like a real construction site(more people then TJ and myself working almost 10 people). The hardwood floors showed up today after 6:30am wake up call to tell me they were in Ocala. The Beer towers are in and in place to bad they are not hooked up to lines to get beer that tomorrow's job. The bar is stained and the new back bar piece are starting to go up but waiting on the arrival of the two new coolers which are set for delivery tomorrow. Yah something to build around. The new service bar ice bins are in (Ice Fight) the soda lines were taken out today to be replaced on Monday so we are on can diet coke and beer, more beer please Todd. OK Dylan had the bad job today he had to clean the grease trap by the sink, I have done that and let me tell you it sucks. Well off the poly uro the bar and drink a little, now that the drinking partner is back in town. See you tomorrow you Mother's support team that you are.Day One June 22, 2008
I can't believe I am doing this, but day one started out with me meeting Todd and Dylan at the back door at 5:00 am. They just finished moving all the crap upstairs and Todd had a problem with his car(Damn American cars). So we went inside they told me about the night I missed since I left at 10:30pm to rest up for the day ahead. I guess the minute I left the place it got crazy and so did Todd(no surprise). We couldn't give the prize to one girl so we award 5 girls $25.00(the crowd couldn't decide the winner, no drinking involved there). No I don't have pictures since the camera seemed to slip out of Todd's hands, yeh right, thanks “Bud” Light. So anyway on to the construction more productive day then I thought it would be, cleaned out all the DirecTV boxes, but one, have to watch my Brew Crew, who won today by the way. Got rid of all but one but one of the shelves by the Kitchen this will be my desk and Blog Station for the construction until I build the new cabinet here to store my collection of goodies. I killed the Bar Top, Sorry Todd, tickets are gone and so will be the jokes on how you coated it. New top is done, all but the trim and the service bar area is taking shape. The new exit for Todd and myself has been created, by the juke box. The A/C Duct are being covered with wood Veneer. Hopefully the hardwood floors will show up tomorrow, please Shaw deliver, guess I will find out tomorrow morning on that one. Take a look at the photos on the picture page, they don't do what was done Justus, but all the same I'm here and you’re not. Well it's beer 30, ok 7:15 but close enough for the first beer. Drink wisely and talk and post again with everyone tomorrow.June 21, 2008
Well as I ready for Construction Day (Starts tomorrow morning) I reflect on the year of meeting new people and reconnecting with old and just making this dream come true for the two of us. Overall it has been a good year for Mother's and TJ and I thank everyone that helped us by drinking away here. It was sad to take down the first dollar placed on the wall, that was given to us by my brother Don on his visit before we opened the doors. Don't worry all the dollars will be put back up in the restaurant somewhere. Keep looking at the web site as I will post messages and daily pictures, unless I'm to beat from the day to do this shit. Please bear with me the updates could be poorly written after a long day of construction. I hope to see everyone back in two weeks as we toast a new beginning at Mothers.
Come in and say that you saw our web site and TJ or Patrick will get you your first Miller High Life on the house. (If you are of legal drinking age of course!)
Remember to think when you drink and always drink responsibly
Weekly Update is Back!!!
February 15, 2010
Hard to believe we are in a new year and almost 3 years into this place. I'm starting to get back in the groove and also becoming a real resident of G-ville. But I will explain that later. We are starting our prep for St. Patty's Day, or my day. getting the Corned beef and cabbage going making a shit load of shepherds pie. So join us this Wednesday as we try out a practice round of drinking for the big day in a month. We have shirts to sell and you will not want to miss out on them.
Quote of the week #1: I envy people who drink - at least they know who to blame everything on.
Quote of the week #2: My grandmother is 80 and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
August 25th, 2008
Well today is a sad day at Mother's I had to put down my long time friend of 13 years. Dakota fought off her cancer, like the champ that she was, she fought everything off until the end but it just was her time. It was sad to watch her go, but I know it was for the best. I hope no one ever has to go through this but I know a lot of you will. I thank everyone for the well wishes so next time you raise a glass in toast do it for Dakota.
August 30,2009
OK, OK I know it has been since March since I posted but the summer has been crazy to say the least. You think studying and doinf summer interns are hell try dealing with installs and floods all in the same place. I should be back in G-ville full time shortly. I promise in the next few days I will give you the full update, fill in on what happened this summer, and fill you in on the plans for the new semester. So keep drinking and keep drinking at Mother's I look forward to seeing all of you shortly.
March 19, 2009
Well it has been a long month for me, thus the reason for no updates Well were to start?!?!? I started running back and forth to work on the Orlando Hilton Project, that will last 6 months, it is a fucking huge hotel, this was shortly after getting our addition together for St. Patty’s Day which was fucking phenomenal. Thank you to all that attended and the picture are now posted as well. I can’t even take this weekend off since I’m in heaven and hell with the March Madness tournament I love the games I hate the blackouts from local TV. I guess more calls to CBS New York Will happen again this year and I have the number programmed in my phone already. To top it off I’m on my own since Todd is headed to Miami to scream in somebody’s ear down there, sorry guys no entertainment during the Syracuse games this weekend. So if you haven’t seen it come and check out the new addition, we are still working out some things but it will be up and running at 100% by Football season.
The World Finally Wakes up to Schlitz!!!
So, the big article in the paper talks about how "Schlitz is back!!" What do you mean back??? We've been selling the dog-shit out of it for 6 months now!!! Oh, sure they have the "new formula", which is just the old formula re-introduced. Sort of like saying you have a new girlfriend, but it's the same old hag you used to date after she's been passed around your circle of buddies.
Seriously, the main reason we like Schlitz so much is that it has the five most important qualities you should look for in a beer: 1) Cool, classic can (not a bottle you pussy)
2) It tastes good. Not exotic - just good.
3) It's cheap.
4) Schlitz has a one syllable name like ALL THE BEER YOU DRINK SHOULD HAVE. It's pretty much the same theory as a coffee shop - the longer it takes you to say the name of the coffee you want the bigger dickhead you are. All great beers have one syllable names: Schlitz, Hamm's, Blatz, Pabst, etc, etc. The douche baggiest beers in the world have names like: Michelob Ultra, Bud Light Lime, Negro Modello, etc. In general, the shorter the name, the better the beer. Easier to yell in a crowded bar too. Or you can just do what the pros do: hold up your can in one hand and show the quantity you want with the other - so damn easy but nobody does it.
5) Oh, and it's cheap.
Special note: We now have Schlitz bottles on Special every Wednesday Night 5 for $5 buckets and come get our new t-shirts for Schlitz
T-shirt of the week: I don't need sex, the government fucks me every day.
Comeback of the week:
Patrick: Do you always talk to yourself?
Robert: Why not? I'm the most interesting person I know. Sometimes I leave work early just to spend a little more time with myself
February 9, 2009
Well where do I start, it has been over a month since I put anything up on this board and I felt the loss as much as you do. The new year is here and we have gone through so much already, UF won the National Championship and no matter what the new Pres has to say Utah doesn't have that trophy in their cabinet right now. Pittsburg won the Super Bowl, so now the economy can get back on track so start spending more money at my place!! Punxsutawney Phil did not see his shadow, Ha, those losers up north have 6 more weeks of winter, and we have 6 more weeks until it gets hot and humid down here or hot and sweaty for you girls. We have two new guys in the kitchen and a couple of new door/service bar guards working, say hi to Tim and Josh when you get a chance, but please don't feed them during business hours ladies!
I'm excited as I will soon get to play with power tools again. We are expanding into the book store after they move out on the 14th of this month. We hope to have it up and running shortly, St. Pat's day would be nice, good time for spring break huh? So come on out and join me at the bar this week for drinks and maybe a shot or two, before I have to disappear into the "Basement" that I'm building next store. Ladies this means another bathroom with more bathroom stalls, and yes more bar space for you to stand in front of the service station. No don't get too excited and all come in at the same time. Don't forget to come on out for our Anti-Valentines party this Saturday where you will spend your money and might have a better shot at getting laid then at some fancy place in town. I’m sure we will have some sort of drink special for that night and I sure it will be something red or pink. Congrats to our girl April that won the Maxim Hometown Hotties contest click on her picture on the menu page of this web site to see it.
Joke of the week:
Guy 1: "I know this bar in town where they give you free drinks all nite and then they make sure you get laid too!"
Guy 2: "Really!!!! That ever happen to you???"
Guy 1: "Well not me personally, but it's happened to my sister a couple of times"
T-shirt of the week: Now here's a stimulus package!!! (arrow pointing down to guy's cock)
Billboard of the week: Smile!!! Your mother was pro-life!!!
December 25, 2008
Well Merry Xmas to all you Boozers out there or happy Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or Boxing day, Whatever, you know what I mean. While all you are out getting presents and eating to your hearts desire Charlies, Kristen and I, along with Mike and Phil have been working on the bar and some other surprises I can't talk about or I would have to kill you. I just don't want Todd to find out until he gets here tomorrow, after a few days off and a trip to Rat World. I have posted pictures of the new bar and will update more later tonight when we complete it. Sorry we were not open since I have fielded a few call asking if we are, I guess family time is about over, Thank God I live so far from mine. Well eat, drink and be merry, it you can't find a Mary and be merry. I will update soon after the trip to O-town for the Wisconsin/ FSU Champ bowl game which yours truely will be attending.
December 13, 2008
OK it has been a busy couple of weeks after the Birthday, I tried to drink 40 drink on my birthday but fell 6 short as the night before with drinking until 4 and lack of sleep finally kicked my ass. The drinking was not the problem it was the lack of sleep. Whatever you have to believe me because that is my story and you can ask anyone at the bar that night I was not too bad and I did outlast a curtain someone that only made it 18 beers. Well after that weekend I jet setted to Green Bay for the Houston game which we lost, should have never called that timeout Mike!!! It snowed after the game for a total of 3”, I have pictures of the car and you can see a picture of my older, HAHA, brother and me on the picture page as well. I have been back and forth to O-town and G-ville which will come to an end here shortly and G-ville will be more of the home so. I did the holiday thing at Howl at the Moon with Joey Fantone, I do have picture of us advertising on the mirror at Howl at the Moon in Orlando, which I highly recommend to you chuggers out there when you’re in O-town. Yes Virginia, there is a Santa in G-ville. I’m heading to the GB vs. JAX game tomorrow I do promise pictures
November 23rd, 2008
Yes I know I have not updated in awhile and yes I have heard about no post on the Gators taking a bite out of the Cocks last weekend, at least we know South Carolina has shorter cocks now. Good weekend with Citadel in town it was like a game day morgue around here, There was a lot of people but they were all dead. Just like it will be next weekend with the game in Tally and Thanksgiving on Thursday, maybe at least my birthday on Thursday will bring some of you Chuggers back up here after filling up on Turkey during the day. No pictures, I destroy the evidence, no I just forgot to grab the camera I promise picture from Thursday will be up hopefully none too bad.
T-shirt of the week (men's): The only time I don't want head is when I'm pouring a beer.
T-shirt of the week (women's): I'm a lesbian until it's my turn to go down
Quote of the week: "I was going to spend this semester looking for a good man, but I decided I'm just going to get wasted
November 8th, 2008
Ok last night was a blast, we had Switch in and they let Todd and myself, OK more myself sing with the band, since I would have to say I sung the 2nd and 3rd set with the band, Thank you Nick and mike for putting up with me. Todd did the rap thing I did the rest of the 80's music. You will have to check out the pictures because they are funny as all hell. So I guess I can say I'm a rock star now, let me know when the groupies show up, because I really need them right now. The Gators are at Vandy to night so we hope the beat them and bring all of us back some Vandy Girls that we can have fun with. Not to leave the Florida girls out of this but you know about these Vandy Girls, Sorry just looking for that Sugar Momma, Just kidding. See you all tonight as the Party continues.
T-shirt of the week #1:
Baby shirt that says "I only cry when ugly people hold me"
T-shirt of the week #2: Boys are pigs. Pork them.
Pickup line of the week #1: What do you say we go back to my house and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multipy
Pickup line of the week #2: Baby, let's go back to my place and you pretend your feet hate each other!!!
November 1st, 2008
Halloween Party was great I posted the pictures from last night on the web site, Thanks to all that came out and in prep for the big game in JAX today, GO Gators,
We did receive a lot of responses to our dream college football championship matchup of the Oregon State Beavers vs the South Carolina Gamecocks (the Cocks) which would result in Cocks vs Beavers in the title game. We can only hope - just for the funny headlines alone.
Some responses brought up one great matchup we hadn't thought of:
Oregon State Beavers vs. the Ant Eaters of UC Irvine
Which would yield the gut-splitting matchup of: The Beavers vs. The Eaters.
Brilliant!!!
Possible sports page headlines for this classic football matchup include:
Eaters have bad taste in their mouths after loss to Beavers.
Beavers leave Eaters red-faced!!!
Beavers look forward to Cocks after creaming Eaters.
Eaters give Beavers a tongue lashing over pulled hair.
Stinky Beaver defense too much for Eaters.
Apparently, these two schools ACTUALLY MET in the 2007 College World Series. The baseball headlines could be good too. Send us some. The ones you sent about the Cocks vs. Beavers were pretty damn good. We'll print them in a future update.
October 26th, 2008
This is your Homecoming update via Mothers
Well not much of a game and not much of a crowd considering I heard of several people trying to sell tickets the day of the game. The parade was a wet shirt afair and the game day wasnt much better it did clear up later and we saw what we thought was the sun but not seeing in a couple days we were not sure. The Crowd was great on Friday and Saturday Nights I think most enjoyed the music instead of muffled sound of a Baseball game which you can't understand Joe Buck anyways. You know it is good when several and I do mean several credit cards where left behind this weekend, starting to get a good little collection might need to start a wall of credit at the bar. We want to thank the Phi Delts and GRU for the spots on their floats in the parade. There are some good pictures from the weekend so check out the page and remember you can't win a pissing contest with a prick.
T-shirts of the week:
1) Support our troops. Except Ron, that guy's a dick.
2) Wanna Play Army? I'll lie down and you can blow the hell outta me
Bumperstickers of the week:
1) I'd rather be nailin' Palin
2) If you want to burn the flag, please wrap yourself in it first.
October 22nd, 2008
Well Mother’s Divorce watchers the wait is now over as you can see by the clock to the right at 9:30 this morning I became a free agent in the minds of the Orange County and Florida court system. It went smoothly and the only hitch was they switch the court room on us. To quote my favorite artist as most of you know the late great Bobby Darin, "we're parting out as friends" just about says it all. In a change of Plans I am heading back to G-ville tonight so come join us for the Rays game and a shot or two. I promise to not hit any deer today, but the buffalo need to watch out, sorry inside joke.
Quote of the week:
"All I can say about marriage is this that I’m not miserable. My wife is, but I’m not." - name witheld pending divorce proceedings ha ha
Joke of the week:
Guy 1: Did you here they're not serving beer at Soldier Field this year?
Guy 2: What!!? Why the hell not?
Guy 1: They lost the opener.
October 16th, 2008
Well Mother’s Fans I’m back again with my “when I feel like it update”. It might be a little more often in the next few weeks because I don’t have all the projects going on that I do right now. Since the last update we celebrated Todd’s Birthday, we got him pretty shit faced, Thank You Carla. He danced on the bar, but what else is new and he let me play my music or music to the ears of the staff not having to hear all the same Todd songs. The next weekend brought us LSU vs UF and a Friday night of hard drinking by the boys, We are not really sure why or how it happened, but you know we were bad if there was a water fight with the soda guns and with spraying bottles of beer at each other in the kitchen, Sorry cooking staff. The next morning, and I do mean early morning, I played with power tools while either hung over or still drunk, not sure which at this point and Todd was moving about half his normal speed, so we noticed the gimp a little more. We made it thru night after the gator blow out, Todd jet set to Vegas and I to jet drove to O-town and back Sunday morning to deliver some Kegs. Now what is wrong with that picture I was the one driving fast in Florida and he was on the plane it must have been a fucked up weekend for that to happen. This weekend I’m off to Golf tournament in Port St. Lucie called Sip & Swing, we don’t do any drinking at this event at all, yeah right. It will be my last weekend as a married man, so a golf weekend getaway makes sense. I will see all of you Homecoming weekend and we can all do shots to my beautiful bride or at that time ex-wife.
I now leave you with the thought of last weekend which is about the DREAM MATCHUP OF ALL TIME if it were somehow to occur in the national championship game. Who's that you ask? Well after several cases of beer, many shots of Ruppy, some horrible rounds of Golden Tee golf and more ball scratching than a dog kennel, we came up with what should be obvious to all once it is blurted out:
THE OREGON STATE BEAVERS vs. THE SOUTH CAROLINA GAMECOCKS (aka "Cocks")
Yes, the Beavers versus the Cocks. It would be LEGENDARY. Just the sport section headlines alone would be enough to make your average dirty-minded fan pee their pants with laughter. We give several possible headlines here for your enjoyment and trust us, we had just as much fun coming up with them as you will reading them:
Huge Cock victory over Beavers!!!!
Cocks Run n Shoot creams Beavers!!!
Veteran Cocks pound young Beavers!!!
Cocks too soft for Beavers!!
Beaver's depth too much for young Cocks!!!
Slumping Cocks lose to Beavers
Beaver's spread offense stinks up the joint!!
Beavers smell victory over Cocks
Stormy weather makes for wet Beavers, blown Cocks
Beavers ranked #1, Cocks in the 2-hole
Trojans cover Cocks, Beavers next
Beavers sore after Cocks cover the spread!!
Cocks cram ball down Beaver's throat!!
Cocks slip past sloppy Beavers!!!
Cocks can't penetrate tight Beaver defense!!
So, no matter who your favorite team is, whenever you see either of these teams play, root for them. God willing if they meet in the championship game somewhere down the road. With any luck, the game will be sponsored by Trojan condoms. Or Viagra. Or Vagisil.
Words of wisdom for the week:
Every group of girls has a slut. If you can't identify her, it's you.
Pickup line of the week:
"If that Red Bull doesn't keep you up all night, I'd like a shot at it"
September 29th, 2008
Dear Booze Chuggers:
It's been a while since we sent you an update, so I'm going to grace you derelicts with some updates on the bar and my personal life. Well the last two weeks of my life have sucked it all started on my trip to God's land going to the Green Bay vs Cowboys game which the boys beat my pack, then my wife got mad at me told me I should plan to stay in Gainesville when I got back into town. On my way to the bar to drown myself in shots I hit the biggest damn deer in Alachua County only to find out the insurance company will total my car. The pictures are shown above of the Buck 8 points by the way and what is left of the front end of my old car.
The next day I got the official word that my wife wanted a divorce and if you know my wife once her mind is made up you can't change it. So on October 22, 2008 at 8:30am it will be official according to the Courts. I have posted a countdown clock above this. Now don't get it wrong we are still good friends and will remain that way, she is an amazing women. How else can we get a divorce in less than 30 days? On to the good news and the bar, as a result of hitting a deer I must get a new car which I hope to get today and now you drunks get to see me more often. Do I hear Shots? I must say she did keep her promise to divorce me in September instead of August, since August sucked too. Oh yea the bar has been doing great. See you this weekend. GO GATORS AND GO PACK
Quote of the week:"Bring back the rotary phone, so I don't have to press one for English"
Bumper Sticker of the week:"FUCK LAST CALL!?!"
August 31th, 2008
It was the start of Gator Football yesterday and boy did they start off, 56-10 thrashing of Hawaii. The regulars where out and people we have not seen since the last football season where back to visit before and after the game. Game time was fun and even Charlie from Cone stopped in for a few brews and to talk about my Packers, Go Aaron, sorry Brett you are a Jet now. Anyways we all partied until Close, Sarah and I did the Dance for "Joy to the World" on the bar, but not before a night of Heckling TJ about his music choices as I sat at the end of the bar with the megaphone, he tried to pick out the worst songs he could find. Of course he hid my iPod so we couldn't play some good music. Thank god we got busy and he had to bartend or it would have been bad music night. Well Bring on the Hurricanes from Miami and the Atlantic for next week and College football Prime Time on ESPN, After the game I will jet set from here to Lambeau Field for the home opener on Monday night against the Vik-queens. Hope to see you all back here next weekend as we enter September and time for the Cubs to start the Slide out of First Place
Weekly Update is Back!!!
October 26, 2009
Damn, you whiny bitches just won't shut up about a lack of a weekly update. Some people actually asked if their "subscriptions" had run out. Well, the word "subscription" implies that you actually paid something to get on our email list. Listen up douches. You paid exactly what you always pay to get into Mothers. Zero. Nada. Bupkiss. No cover = no bitching. That's our new motto. Frankly, even though you paid zero for this piece of brilliant prose, it's worth three times that much!!!!
Seriously, we had some issues and they generally break down like this:
1) It's summer and that's means baseball season, we had to go to some games
2) Complete lack of motivation
3) Complete lack of discipline
4) I had to work on a hotel in Orlando
5) Did I mention alot of drinking because it is summertime?
6) We felt re-capping our brilliant escapades in life was cruel and unusual punishment for all you boring-life douchebags. You needed a break.
Bumpersticker of the week: I never date girls that use four-letter words. Words like QUIT, STOP and DON'T!!!
T-shirt of the week: Will you be the caboose on my love train?
Definition of a Buzz Kill: When the hot girl you're talking to tells you that you look just like her dad.
